We are not intolerant!

How dare you!? How dare you, Aamir? How dare you call Indians out? Who are you to tell us what we are, or how we think? How dare you call us intolerant, Aamir? I am outraged!

Before I go ahead with my rant against you, let me refer to what you said. You said you are alarmed and want to move out of India (or it was your wife, doesn’t matter). Then next day you said you stood by everything you said. What!? How can you say that? How dare you mention moving out of India?  How can you move out of India? India is a great country! India has a rich heritage and amazing culture. We are proud that we were born in India. We do everything to preserve our culture, our heritage, and our religion. We will go to any length to make sure our culture is preserved. You can see the evidence daily. We devote inane amount of time in temples and desecrate anything and anyone who doesn’t agree with our view point. We preserve what’s ‘ours’ and whatever isn’t, we leave it to the dogs.

And why do you call us intolerant? We are not intolerant! We just do what’s right. And we do what’s right because we know what’s right or wrong. I’ll give you an example. Eating beef is wrong! Plain and simple! Cow is the holiest of animals out there. How do I know that? Because that religious book of mine says so. The same book which also tells me that slaughtering another man on the name of honor is fine. The same book also teaches me polygamy and how righteous it is. We follow it to the T. Every single word of it! How dare you denounce my actions that are based on my religion? What I do is not intolerant behavior, just reaction to the wrong by fellow citizen.

Mr. Aamir Khan, we would not tolerate you blaming us of intolerance. You can pack your bags and go to any other country because our country will not support your opinion. Your opinion differs from our opinion of what intolerance is. You can go wherever you want to. Go to the US, or Canada, you know, where another half of our brethren resides. Some of my NRI friends posted their pictures eating hamburger the other day. It looked delicious! If I ever go there, I would like to… Anyway, Mr. Aamir Khan, please, please, please don’t tell us what we should do. We know our morals and values. We beat those people up that do not adhere to our values. Pick your fights wisely, Mr. Khan because you never know who or what might strike you someday.

(This is a tongue-in-cheek piece and should be taken as such. Or interpret it as you wish)