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Sunday, April 12, 2015

NO, GOOGLE!!

After a long tiring day of work, I return home. Ah, home sweet home! There’s nothing like home, is there? After a hard day’s work, I wanted to sit back and relax. I switch the TV on and fire up my laptop. What was it my colleague told me today? I was trying to recall the name of that new artist she told me about. That’s okay! I’ll find it on internet. And internet means google to me. If Google can’t find something, it doesn’t exist for me. So, here I am sitting with my laptop, thinking of the name she told me. I open Google Chrome. It doesn’t start. Something must be wrong. I restart Chrome, but it still doesn’t show anything. No worries! I keep the laptop down and go for a shower.

I come back and take a peep at my laptop screen. Chrome still hasn’t showed up anything. Oh god! Chrome is broken? Again? More than that, I feared  something else. I had to use ‘Internet Explorer.’ I don’t remember when I used it last. With my fingers trembling with fear, I point the pointer at the IE logo, take a deep breath, and double click it. Then I wait. And wait. And wait some more. Finally, IE opens up a window for me. Phew! It still works. Now, I crackle my fingers and start typing the URL. www.google.com. I press enter and I wait. And wait. And wait more. Stupid IE! I check into my internet connection. Well, that’s working. Suddenly, I see the page loading some text. About time! But no! What is it written here! ‘The page you requested doesn’t exist.’ No! It can’t be right! Just yesterday it was working. I had checked out the new Nike shoes that my friend told me about not long ago. In the morning, I searched about how to merge my pdf files into a new pdf file.

I have a sinking feeling. It could be just me. I pick my cell phone up and try calling my friend. But there’s no sound. I check my phone screen. My phone’s dead! A message flashes on the screen. ‘system.google.android doesn’t exist.’  Suddenly, everything in front of my goes dark. I sink into my couch. What’s going on!  I switch my TV on. And I cannot believe my eyes. The headline reads ‘BREAKING NEWS: Google no more. Market crashes!’ I sit there on my couch, motionless. The words ringing in my ears. Google no more. This can’t be happening! I check on my android watch. It shows nothing. No Google, no chrome, no android, no life! I look around me. What do I do? I palpitate. I could no longer see a purpose to my life. How would I WhatsApp my girl now? How would I forward all those useless messages no one reads? What about Candy Crush? I feel numb. My feet are cold. But somehow I gather myself and walk out the door.

I see my neighbor. He is crying. “What happened?” I ask. Sobbing, he tells me, “There no google. How will my son complete his studies now? How will I surf porn? How will my wife shop?” He then throws himself under a bus! I walk through the streets. I see live zombies, staring at their blank phone screens. People are no longer people. The society as we know is crumbling down. No more selfies. I look around me and I see people not knowing what to do. I decide to…

It’s 6 in the morning. “NO!!!” With a shudder, I jump out of my bed. I look at my phone ringing beside me. I check up my watch. “6:00 am.” I look around me. Everything’s normal. Google’s still here! Our Society is saved! No one has to die anymore! I press my phone to my chest. I am never ever letting you go. I sigh in peace.

(This is a work of fiction. No buses were harmed during the writing of this piece.)